Remaining sane with crazy ex spouses
Step family.... blended family.... whatever you want to call them are filled with unique issues all unto their own..... when you throw in two mentally ill ex-spouses ... watch out! I've decided that writing out my issues is a much better solution than reacting in a.... er..um... more hostile manner. lol
This is my story... probably not interesting to anyone else, unless perhaps your living it too. Perhaps you have some solutions to offer..... or maybe if we all team up together we can get a reduced rate on having the crazy ex's commited.
Hmm,,, now where to start...
Let me begin by introducing the main players... I'll list them in order of crazyness :
1. Crazy Bitch... commonly referred to as"CB".. who is my husbands ex-wife. Manic Depressive rapid cycler, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Narcissist, Anorexic and all around evil person.
2. Asshole... commonly referred to as just plain old "Asshole"... who is my ex-husband. Manic-Depressive, Alcoholic, Sociopath and all around nasty person.
3. Me! .... you can me Jane... though its not what i'm commonly referred too cause it isn't my name... but whatever.
4. My husband... who you can call Jack.... wonderful man, who I have been blessed to be with.
I'm tired now.. so I will follow up with the other key players... the children... the ex's new partners and then I will get into the real juicy stuff... like when CB tried to have Asshole kill me... stay tuned.
posted by Jane Doe at 1:30 AM
31 Comments:
I too deal with a crazy insane ex-wife. I unfortunatly have to spend each and every holiday with this bitch, because the fiances parents are in this "once you are in the family you are always in the family" " bull crap".
Then I am the one who is told not to start anything...ok, whatever.
When will they learn that she shouldnt be there, and that their son has moved on....with a new person. I know...the easy solution is to not go with him to these family events....WRONG...so she can sink her evil claws into him while im not there. I know he says he loves me and has no feelings for her what so ever, but I'm not taking any chances. She needs to move on....theses people only tolerated her to begin with, so I dont see why it would be so hard for them to say..."This holiday...I want the new girl here and not you" or just dont invite her...thats my opinion.
Of course my fiance thinks its alright, that it shouldnt be an issue. Whatever!!!!
12:04 PM
I feel your pain. I too deal with a fiance's ex. She insists on us doing birthdays for the children with her and her family. They are all rude they ignore me completely and it really sucks to go. I do it for my fiance and his children but it is getting old fast. She has a "fiance" he is still married to his wife. It is uncomfortable and I feel it is unreasonable for her to think my fiance' or myself really want to celebrate anything with her and her family. Not to mention her fiance'......the man she had an affair with when she was married to my fiance'. I am at my wits end. Just hanging on. Striving for my fiance' to fill out a new parenting plan to give her a little less control over him. She uses the kids to her advantage you see.......and you think your fiance's ex is crazy. :-)
12:33 PM
I don't actually have to see my husbands ex-wife, but she sure as hell creates turmoil. She tries to keep the children as much as she can even though the parenting plan says he is suppose to have them at these certain times. She calls the cops continuously over stupid little shit. His daughter has been told numerous times to not bring her cell phone to our house since we can only see his children every other weekend and once a week. He isn't bale to talk to his children over the period of a week but his ex-wife calls and calls and calls starting an hour after we pick up the kids till 10:00pm when the court papers say she can't call anymore. Why should we let the children talk to her when he doesn't get to talk to his children when they are with her. He only gets a few days with his children and she has them almost all the time. She is in love with calling the cops on my husband...for stupid shit like showing up 5 minutes late when dropping them off to her, yet when she is 20 minutes late dropping them off to him he doesn't do anythign about it because he doesn't want to play the stupid games anymore. He pays out of his ass on child support since she only wants to work part time at JCPenney's...and she wants more, I guess that is what you get when you are an uneducated piece of white trash living in a smaller town who has been spoiled her whole life by her controlling parents. During their divorce they had a Durango that they had bought and it was in both of thier names, he took it during the divorce because she cried because the payment was too expensive for her....two weeks after the divorce was final she goes out and buys a brand new BMW with his money....bullshit too much to pay for since the payment on the BMW is the same that it would have been on thier Durango.....Freaken EX-WIVES!! Oh yeah, and the reason this all came about (the divorce) is because she didn't want the children anymore, didn't want the reponsability of being a mom so she went out and cheated on her then husband..hello you stupid bitch...you don't think he was going to find out when it was your guy's anniversary and he came home early to surprise you and you were in his bed, in his house (which is all now her's) with another man! When him and I got together everything got worse again...she took him to court on rediculous things because he had the balls to be with another woman and fall in love again...she even said that is court. The divorce was final and I didn't meet him till a year after the divorce was done. She has actually shown up at my house and got out of her car adn yelled at me and swore at me because I was with her ex-husband. Her mom drives by our house all the time and slows down and looks in. I truly believe that his ex and her mom need to move on. She is actually still with teh man that she cheated with. But to her kids, he is just a family friend that stays over all the time because they are so close. He is 20 years older than her, never married and lives with his mother...oh come on, grow up!! At frist I didn't care about anything since I was in love, I just delt with the bullshit that was going on. His kids wouldn't hug me when their mother was around, but they could hug the man that she cheated with on her husband in front of their dad. All I can say about this lady lets say her name is Tanya she needs to grow the hell up!! Since we are in Washington no matter what it is a no fault state and the mother always gets everything she got everything, his clothes, his money, his house, his car everything but she takes him to court to get more. If she has the balls to cheat on her husband she should realize that she isn't the "queen" of this earth and she should go to hell!!!
4:28 PM
I know how you feel. My husbands ex is a real bitch. She cheated on him and he found out and she wanted to go out to eat! Can you believe the nerve? I met my husband when I was 15 years old. I didn't see him again until I was 21 and he was married to her with 2 kids. I was with someone also and had a child but not married. We all use to hang out together and our kids played together daily. I even babysat their kids for her while my husband was married to her. Eventually one day my ex and I moved and didn't see them for almost a year. My relationship with my ex was already bad and had gotten even worse. That's when my current husband showed up at our door and told us that he and his wife were getting divorced because she had been cheating on him. My ex called her all kinds of names but in reality he was no better. I was 24 at this time and found out my ex was cheating on me with a 14 year old. Hello- stagitory rape in our state! I threw his ass out as soon as I could get it out. Then one day me and my current husband ran into each other. He had his kids for a weekend visit and had no where to keep them since his cheating ex caused him to get evicted from his home, so I told him he could stay the weekend with me and our kids could play together like they use to. It worked out good for both him and his kids and next thing you know he is living with me. Next thing after that we're sitting around talking about the good old days, back when we first met and what does he do? He lays a big ole kiss on me. My response was,"why didn't you do that when I was 15? 2years later we got married and every since his ex has been the biggest bitch she can be. I guess that's enough of my story for now. I'm sure I'll be back one day soon to bitch about her much, much more. Way to much to fit in this story that's for sure. It definatly is nice to know that I'm not alone in the way that I feel with some stupid bitch trying to ruin my life because she doesn't want my husband to be happy!
-Casey
10:54 AM
I'm back again. I left my story off at my marriage to my husband.
When his ex-wife found out we were getting married guess what she did? She screwed my husband's best friend and poof magically she was pregnant. My husband only had one thing to say to his friend and that was "You saw what she put me through,but now it's your business".
Everytime things seemed like they were going ok something would happen. Let's see, there was the lice incident. These kids didn't just come to our house once with lice! Oh no that would have been too easy! Every time we picked them up they had lice. My husband and I spent his whole visitation with his kids getting rid of lice only to have it return next visit with the kids. My husband would confront her about it and she would always have some lame excuse. Finally the kids school called us and said they had been sent home nearly 40 times from school with head lice. My husband was furious! My child had never ever been sent home with it. That made my husband madder and madder because for a period of about 2 years we dealt with it every visitation. We couldn't find any were to help us. The kids would come with large sores in their heads. My youngest step-child starting loosing hair because of having to treat their hair so much. Finally both of us talked to his ex-wife and she promised that she would get rid of it. Next visitation after that we picked the kids up and went straight home to check them and what do you know they had it again! Well since we couldn't get any help from the courts to make her get rid of the stuff, my husband called her and left a message on her answering machine so her and his old friend both could hear, saying that we had been taking the kids to the local health department and having it documented that the kids had it every time we picked them up and also documented that they were sent back to her clean. She freaked out and called me crying saying that it wasn't her fault and that they had already been kicked out of 2 daycares and that the school was going to have something done. It was amazing how our court system would tell us that things like that just happen but the school system had more power over it then we did. We had to make up a story just to try to get something done. Thank god they have been lice free for almost 2 years now!!
10:42 AM
I am engaged to the nicest, sweetest man I have ever met. He and his ex have been "ex's" for well over two years, and were separated for about two before they divorced. After filing for the divorce she informed him that "their" child was not even his. As a matter of fact, out of three other men tested none of them were the father. He chose to stay a father to this child, which is the honorable thing to do and one of many resons I love him. It isn't her fault that her mother is an immoral concubine... Anyhow, we are engaged to be married. She constantly plays the game of "you'll never see her again", blah blah blah.. "No, you can't have her this weekend because I feel like being a cow", etc.
Well, we recently found out that we are going to have a baby of our own. Of course, the first thing she said to him was that she was going to cut his visitation off, and that if he ever contacted his daughter again she would kill him, etc. She said that "her" daughter would be treated second rate because now he will have a biological child. I felt like screaming HELLO! LIKE IT'S HIS FAULT YOU WERE DISHIN' THE GOODS OUT TO WHOEVER WANTED SOME. Not to mention, he would never treat his daughter badly, nor would I. Of course, she is insane, so we had his daughter the following weekend. But it is constant threats with her. She calls him on a daily basis to keep him on edge with her threats. But then any time she asks for something, he'll do it to keep her from denying him visitation with his daughter. It is to the point that my anger is turning towards him for tolerating and passifying her behavior. It only encourages her to act like the beast she is. I totally understand that caving into her demands is easier than dealing with her, but if he stood up to her one time I am 100% sure that she would knock it off. We have begun recording her threatening phone calls, and I've told him all we need to do is take them to court. She wouldn't have a leg to stand on. And frankly, the judge would probably pink slip her to a mental health facility for an eval. He keeps putting it off, and in turn I'm getting put off. I will not tolerate this in my life much longer. I don't want to lose him over it, but I will end up walking if he can't get up enough nerve to stand up to her once and for all. Any advice? Besides the kind that would get me in trouble??
3:31 PM
I have been with my husband and his crazy ex for two years now. It wasn't so bad at first and he promised that it would get better with time...... it has only gotten worse, I mean REALLY BAD! She has progressed from calling over and over again(because I do her daughters hair and dyed Easter eggs with them??!!)to calling and threating to bo bodily harm to me and following be around stores to trying to attack me and my son in our vehicle. I was trying to deal with all of it in hopes that she would move on and leave us alone, but when she was trying to get in my car to hurt me and was hitting the windows and yelling not so nice things with my son int he car. I decided to press charges against her. The state said that I could only press charges against her for harrassment, because she did not hurt me and it was her first offense with ME! That is the key word..... she has harrassment charges against her from my husband too. I should have pressed charges when she was following me around k-mart telling her daughters that she was going to run me over with the cart,or when she was calling and saying that she was going to come to my son's functions to hurt me. She not only is messing with me and wearing me down, my husband I think is brain washed into thinking that he is suppose to deal with this crap, and his daughters are emotional wrecks.... they aren't alound to have fun at our house, or they get in trouble at hers. They have to listen to her yell and scream and go crazy all the time. The six year old says " my mommy lost control again on Monday night". That is so sad, that she has to be with someone like that. My son says that he is scared of the girls momma. I wonder why? HUH. My husband is trying to take her back to court to get something done for the children, we already have them 1/2 the time...... we would like to have them more, but if the only thing that comes out of this is that she is court ordered to go to counseling..... that would be wonderful for the kids! Any suggestions welcomed!
2:47 PM
omg!!! I feel like everyone is living my same crazy life!! My husband's ex whatever you want to call her is also obsessed with calling the Sheriff!! We are currently going through a visitation issue with the oldest child which actually is 17 and will turn 18 in 4 months!!! Can't wait for that b.day..anyway he isn't biologically my husband's but...he has raise from the time he was born! Well the crazy X and the oldestgot into a fight and she called the Sheriff and the boy came to our house..he had had enough!! Well long story short..he was told he had to go back to her because that is what she wants. She never takes into account what he wants. She has a very sick obession with me as well. I can't even begin to tell the story there but trust me it is CRAZY!!! We have court ordered visitation with the oldest so i guess it's back to court to have it reinforced!! Thanks for listening!!
3:01 PM
I am not alone I see, unfortunately. This ex wife that my husband and I call "pig" has harrassed us for the last 6 years, married a man 29 years her senior and withheld visitation then moved out of state just to cycle back to different tactics of manipulation, text messaging, internet stalking me, texting her pics to my husband's cell phone, posting slanderous and false remarks against me all over the internet with my old address and picture! She's a real jackass but I have a plan of attack that we will do as soon as the step daughter turns 18, which is just next month. I can't wait, my attorney has already warned her once. She lied to her local sherriff saying that I was harrassing her, blah, blah, blah. I will not stop until I see her in JAIL from violating some kind of order against me. These physco bitches cannot be allowed to keep grazing into our lives whenever they feel like getting justice against us as the new wife, especially when you were not even involved with their break down of the marriage. We have to band together and always be smarter than them. They might act like they have the power until the child turns of legal age but I assure you my fellow friends...we have the power throughout the rest of our lives and they are afraid of this very fact. In all reality...they can't hurt you unless you play into their grimy paws.Figure out their weak points then break them down, time and time again until they can't play in your sand box anymore:)
11:33 PM
I found this site by typing crazy ex-spouses in the google search. Wow, much to my surprise there are a lot more of us dealing with this issue than I thought. Glad to know I'm not alone. My fiance's ex-wife is a nut bag. They have one child together from highschool their first marriage last 3 monts and were divorced in 8. She left didn't want to be a mom or married anymore. Had another child with someone else gave it my fiance's last name. He got hurt and they got back together she had another baby. Got married, she started cheating again, and then again. When he decided to divorce her she decided to tell him the youngest child was not his after 4 years of raising him. During there seperation she left the one child that was his with him, and never even called. When the divorce went through and he got full custody of the child again on default she went nuts. Found out he was seeing me and has been threatening my life ever since. She has attacked me twice first time it was broke up second time she jumped in a car after me and her new boyfriend was preoccupied so I got the better of her. Mind you I was in the car doing nothing she just went nuts. Sad thing is she did this in front of their 10 year old son who was devistated. She tried to call the son and tell him I was at fault and he went off on her saying he seen the whole thing. She also wants my fiance to sign the other two children birth certificates and pay child support for them. Literaly told him that they were going to the highest bidder. He would love to have them in his life but she does nothing but play games and he can only see them if he gives her money and a lot of it. WHich he doesn't have. THey are all crazy. Can't anyone think of the kids anymore. I have three of my own me and my x do not act like this thank God.
9:23 PM
Here's an easy solution for all the second wives who don't want to deal with the ex-wife: don't marry a divorced man!
Benefits to following this:
1. it will prevent you from
having to deal with the
mother of his children
who probably has some
legitmate gripes (just as
he does;
2. it will keep you from being
part of the problem;
3. you will never have to see
an ex-wife at family
gatherings;
4. the ex-husband's family
won't be forced to change
their perspectives because
of the new wife/girlfriend's
insecurities;
5. when you go thru tough times,
you'll never say, "Oh, my God,
your ex-wife was so right
about you!";
6. It'll be one area of growth
you may be able to avoid.
7. Others may be relieved of
having to think of YOU as
the one with "evil claws."
8. There are single men out
there who don't have all
these problems in their lives.
5:48 AM
WELL PUT! As the ex-wife who I am sure is "crazy insane" "pig" and whatever else they feel like calling me at the moment, I must say THAT WAS THE BEST POSTING I ever read.
It truly amazes me that these "second wives" all feel that they have been wronged. They will never know the true scope of what went on between their present and his/her ex.
I have an ex whose fiancee treats my 4 year old like garbage. She calls him names, then tells him to call her mommmy.. he tells me she hits him. I try to talk to my ex about it and our son is lying, or I am being ridiculous.
If you cannot handle the fact that your current boyfriend had a life before he met you, then walk away and find someone whose "baggage" will never come back to "annoy" you.
Grow up and accept things for what they are and try to be the best person you can for the sake of the child or move on to someone without a child and an ex wife.
11:33 AM
Okay,
So I am responding to the new wives and also the ex wife who left the comment...
I understand my fiance had a life before me, I knew that getting into the situation. I don't mind it, I took on a huge role. He also has an 9 year old daughter.
I have always been very welcoming with her, and not pushed her too much out of her comfort zone, but she opened up right away to me! I love his daughter very much.She call's me her step mom, and tells her family how much she loves me. But when she goes home to her mom she tell's her that I have said mean thing's to her. I am pretty sure it is to just tell her mom what she want's to hear.
Now we are also expecting a baby girl in july. This is our first daughter together, and my first child. So it's already a rough situation, now on top of that I have to deal with the miserable ex wife. She feeds his daughter negative thought's that we will not love his daugthter as much as the new baby, and that her dad doesn't love her as much as her mom does!
I mean this stuff will effect a little girl for the rest of her life!
She also throws away anything that I give her daughter, right in front of her! I have never met any woman who is so full of hate in my life...
The best part is, she's the one who cheated on my fiance! Yet she's still in love with him and feel's that she did nothing wrong. She also moved there 9 year old daughter to texas with some man she met off an internet game! At the time my fiance didn't know his right's, but now we are starting too. Is it too late, to get her back? Or too late to do anything?
Please if anyone has advice I am open to hearing anything!
9:47 AM
I have not just crazy but stalker/harrasser nuts!!! SHe calls me not him, she pranks me at work, sends faxes to my boss, leaves me threatening mesages, has stopped us from seeing the kids, calls cops and files every petition in the world, yet because we live in two different counties --although same state -- the authorities wont do a damn thing!!! I have filed 11 complaints against her in 8 years!! I have moved, changed numbers, put traces on work phones, etc and yet she still gets away with whatever she wants!! I just want her in jail--I am miserable -- depressed, worried, stressed and she laughs it all off!!!
12:00 PM
ok, you guys talk about these ex's, but what can I do about the one that makes everything a crisis?! and is up my ass about everything? This one has me on a string cause of the children !she calls me 20-30 x's a day! crisis ,money, crisis, children!blah, blah blah, no substance,no ANSWER'S.just a bunch of neverending crisis situations that I am supposed to change my life and boundries f0r. what are the ANSWER'S? I apressiate all your stories, but how, short of disapearing do I control my own life? n not alow myself to be caught up in her crisis?
please help? this destroying my life and my buisiness?
d.
8:19 PM
You know this site has really made me feel better about my situation. I am 25, I met my fiance 5 years ago, he had been divorced for 2 years. HIS EX is a freakin looney toon. Maybe worse than you can imagine...She brain washes her kids into thinking that I am a devil worshiper and that I hate them. And that I am just with their dad for his money..I have a 6 year old son from a previous relationship and thank god we dont have to put up with this kind of shit from his father. This X calls Child protective services on me, says that I am sexually abusing "her" daughters, that we are a bunch of drug abusers...Thank goodness we have a great attorney and all of this is turning out in our favor!!!
10:15 AM
Hmmm... interesting stuff here. Glad to know I'm not alone in my daily battle. Until recently, I tried to placate the ex wife (we have 50% custody of her and my husband's 3 children). I do 90% of the running for the children, work a full-time job so she can get an enormous child support payment, and put up with her accusatory emails and phone calls whenever she's having a bad day.
She left her ex (my now husband) for his best friend, stating that his friend had more money and would provide a better life. Great. Now she's living in an enormous (7,000 sq. ft.) home that's paid for, she's not working (claims to be a stay-at-home mom of the 3 kids who are 14, 12 and 9) and collects a mortgage payment's worth of child support from my husband and I.
On of it all, she claims she's been mistreated by the system and is not getting what she deserves. What I don't understand is how the courts can state she is living at the poverty level (while in a home worth $660k), and award her the maximum amount of child support. My husband has to pay all medical/dental/vision (and she now wants all 3 kids in braces), as well as purchase clothing, school lunches and pay for half of all other incidentals (activity fees, birthday presents for friends, etc...). And she claims this is unfair to her.
If she wants more $, she should go get a job like the rest of us have to. Quit complaining and do something about it.
Yet, I receive "poor me" emails from her on a regular basis... *sigh* it never ends.
9 more years... 9 more years... 9 more years
8:05 AM
I thought I was the only one with a crazy baby mama! My husbands ex-wife left him for a woman. This fat bitch had gastric bypass,lost some weight and thought she was hot shit. When her munching started to go bad, she decided that she couldn't handle raising their 3 boys anymore, so she dropped them off on our porch one day like they were puppies. This bitch fell off the planet for 2 years (doing drugs, drinking, screwing anything that would touch her). She never came to birthday parties, school functions, sporting events or anything. After the 2 years go by she decides that she wants to be a mom again and literally tried to take over my home. She tried getting custody, money and even my husband. This bitch is still doing crazy shit. She's moved into our town and tried telling people that she's the one that got screwed over and tries to make us look like we're horrible people. How do you defend yourself against that? How do you stay sane when you want to cause her so much harm that you can't see straight? How do you make the kids understand that she's the crazy one and we're not? The kids were so little when she was gone that they don't even really remember too much. I guess thats best. It's just so hard now because they are older and they expect us to do things for her or help her out because she throws a pitty party for herself all the time. Oh and now that we're in court she all of a sudden dates men again. Gotta love it.
8:18 PM
I know how you feel. im forced to deal with my husbands ex and she is a bitch gone mad. listen to the story and you will see why.
my husband was a virgin till he was 25 and this bitch waSD MARRIED TO SOMEBODY ELSE. she seduced my husband and fell pregnant. she didnt know wether the baby was her husbands or not. she went back to her husband. a while later she went to my man again and fell pregnant again again who was the father. my hubby got sick of this and he ordered paternity tests. yes he was father to both children but they had and still do have another mans name on their birth certificate.then years down the track he forgave her and married her they had baby number 3 but then not even 12 months later she is cheating on him with somebody else. my hubby left and she married the man she cheated with. had 2 kids to him then cheated on him with another guy and married him she then had 2 kids with him. this woman has 9 kids to four different husbands thats right she married 4 times ask yourself "what is wrong with her"
2:26 PM
I too have to deal with a crazy, insane, bipolar, "suicide watch" victim of an ex-wife. My boyfriend was married to her for almost 6 years. They have a 4-year-old daughter together. He introduced me into his life quite slowly, and his daughter and I get along extremely well. We have been together for only 6 months. What I want to know, is do you think the child understands that her Daddy and me are together?
The crazy bitch calls about 9 times a day when he has their child. She texts him all day every day. She freaks out when she realises I am with them. She "attempts suicide" on a regular basis - as far as I'm concerned, that's grounds for a good case against her for more custody on his side. (He only sees her for one night and one day in the week. That's it.) The crazy bitch also texts him messages as though they are still together. She says the craziest things - "God will find a way to bring us back together..bla bla bla". She apparently had private detectives after me! Private detectives!? WTF?! She called one night and told me that he cheate don me. She bad mouths me to their daughter when she calls and I'm there with them.
I can't deal with this! But what do you do when You love a man so much? I'm 23 by the way; he's 35. And crazy psycho is 34 and behaves like a juvenile delinquent. Please help me, ANMYONE!!!!???
7:08 AM
Man, I thought I was alone. The crazy bitch I'm dealing with doesn't even know I exist. She does not know he is with someone. I know who she is. I found out where she works and went and ordered a sandwich from her. This past Saturday morning, she and I happened to be at the same Salon getting our nails done. It was awsome sitting next to her and her not knowing that I am with her ex. Anyway the stuff that she did when he and I first started was horrible. She accused him of raping her. Had him arrested in front of the kids for this (which the case was dismissed due to the fact she was working when she said he raped her). Then she showed up at his house with the kids and had their daughter break into the house while he and I were in there. Then he goes downstairs and she starts assaulting him. She ended up taking a piece of skin off of his eyeball. I know that once she finds out that he has a girlfriend and that we are living together, things are just going to escalate from there. They have not gone through the divorce yet and he still pays her monthly. Pays her car insurance, car payment, kids afterschool care, and pays her abouth $1000 a month. So what do I do? I feel like sometimes I can't wait until she finds out about us to just get it out of the way. Eventually, I'm talking restraining order.
6:59 AM
thank you for this blog...i'm sitting here at 3:30 in the morning because I can't sleep because this unfortunate, bitter, borderline personality disorder,crazy woman is a holy terror. And I know that it takes two to tango, and that my fiance bears some of the responsibility for the first marriage going down hill, but i also know that he really tries to be a good father. Yet because she's so psycho, the children are either afraid to show their affection for their dad, or pick up her bad habits and are very disrespectful to him. Call me naive, but I thought the best interests of the children was supposed to rule? God help!
1:44 AM
So glad I saw this today. I've been dealing with my husband's ex wife for ten years. Trust me when I say there aren't many ex wives out there that could rival her in terms of crazy. She is a special breed of nuts. We've been through calls to the police, false allegations of abuse, denied visitation, ridiculously high child support, on and on and on.
I am also an ex-wife. While I've certainly not always acted in ways I am proud of, I don't think my ex-husband or his new wife would describe me as evil. We actually get along really well most of the time.
My advise if you are dealing with a psyco ex....and I have lots of experience...LET IT GO! Let your husband deal with her. One, all you do is make a bad situation much worse by getting involved. Two, she isn't your ex. She don't have to deal with you. And three, why on earth would you open yourself up to that kind of drama. Life is crazy enough in a blended family. Don't invite more crazy into it.
She will not change....ever. Give up on that ideal. It won't happen. Your husband divorced her for a reason. She will always try to make your life hell. She will take every opportunity to screw with you and your family. She is unhappy, bitter, and angry. That most likely wont' change. It won't get better if she finally manages to find someone else...it might even get worse.
Accept the fact that your husband has an angry, irrational ex in his life. Let him deal with her. Completely shut her out of your life. Protect your little family by putting up as many buffers as possible.
DO NOT:
Answer the phone if you know it's her. Let your husband or the kids answer. If they are not around, let it go to voice mail.
Email her. Seriously. Don't do it.
Talk negatively about her to your husband or the kids. Just don't do it. Your husband doesn't want to hear it, and the kids don't need to.
The day will come when the kids are grown. It's not forever. If you want your marriage to last, do not let your husband's ex-wife have any space in your brain at all.
7:39 AM
WOW...what an unfortunate relief. I have been dealing with my fiance's ex for over 6 yrs. We have a child together and i am pregnant with twins. They have one child together but were never "married" and she still feels she can control and manipulate everyone around her. It is horrible. It is so emotionally draining. She tells her son horrible things about me , that her ex abandoned her and her kids to be with me!! which she knows for a fact is untrue i only met him 8 months after they mutually split up! we also had the police , her in and ou of relationships and woman's shelter's (you all know the drill!) she's the crafty , sneeky, manipulating, pretend to be your friend kind of evil crazy! it would be easier to deal with if she was more reckless about it , unfortunatly she has alot of experience and knows the game very, very well. i'm scared. i love my fiance, my (our) children and my stepchild (my bonus child) and i just wish she would allow me to enjoy my family, and love her child as a stepmom, and see that i would never try to replace her. i am just so tired i am almost ready to give up i hardly have the strength to fight another round that i know is coming, they 'll always keep coming. i hope we al find peace with our man's exes. I just want her to leave us alone and find happiness for herself, only then will she leave us alone. thanks for this blog i needed to vent and know that someone understands what i am living and fighting through every moment of everyday.
9:24 PM
Wow, I can see I am just one of many who must still deal with a whack job of an ex who seems almost as if he is mentally ill judging by the bizarre things he says in emails he keeps sending me.
Who knew that getting rid of an abusive, explosive, seemingly insane spouse, by divorcing him, doesn't actually free me of him. I see now that as long as difficult ex's are existing and still alive, you are never actually free. Ir helps to know I'm not the only one experiencing this but I still have to live with alot of trauma and it's exhausting and disturbing to say the least. When will I ever have peace of mind?
10:22 PM
I have been dealing with a pscho ex for almost 2 years now. We call her Lucifer. My boyfriend has the kids for a week and they stay at his place. We spend the weekend together with the kids (when it's his weekend) but she calls constantly, We just don't answer the phone. Then when it's her weekend to have the kids, they call constantly wanting my boyfriend to come pick them up because they can't stand to be with her. I have been stalked, threatened, she has called moms of the kids friends and tells them that I'm a bad mom and their kids shouldn't be around me. She is psychotic to say the least. I had to press charges against her because she went to my house and was telling my son that I was a whore. My boyfriend has been separated from her for 2 years and divorced since March. Will it never end? Sometimes I wonder if I should just find someone else and start all over. The kids are fine when they are with us as long as she can't get in contact with them. Otherwise, it's like a big soap opera with threats ranging from not letting him see the kids if I'm around, or calling the cops. She told him he could have his daughter one day when it was her weekend, then when she found out I was with them, she called the cops and told them her daughter was missing and didn't know where she was . Unbelievable!!!! I feel like I am between a rock and hard place. I want to do what's right for the kids but I can't let her run my life. It's driving me crazy... The thing is - she supposedly has a boyfriend that is so crazy about her. She has already told us that she will never let us be happy no matter what the cost - doesn't matter if the kids are miserable or what. She is not allowed to call unless it involves the kids because my boyfriend has had to call the cops for her harrassing him sometimes 20-40 phone calls a day. So instead, she has the kids call and she coaches them from the back on what to say (we can hear her in the background). It's driving me crazy. I can't figure a way around her. The kids will be grown in 6 yrs. Right now, that's all I'm holding onto.....
8:49 AM
I too deal with a crazy ex-wife. We refer to her as psycho. My husband has two kids with psycho and we get them every other weekend and all the holidays. The stuff with psycho only seems to be getting worse. She questions the kids to death everytime we take them back to her. And then she will call with some bull about how I am over-stepping my role as a step-mother. Sadly though, she spends no time with them, she has moved back in with her mother so that she has a FT babysitter. She calls us for money all the time, and then threatens court. If they have a trip at school, she will call us for the 5 bucks. My husband pays child support, and we buy all the school supplies and anything else they need. Plus all the clothes and toys for our house. It is very frustrating because my husband won't tell her that he isn't a bank. The kids even call us now pitching a fit because their crazy mother said she was broke and daddy has all the money. Any advice on what to do?
10:52 AM
I also deal with a crazy ex wife. This is a first time for me. My boyfriend and I haven't been together very long but I fell in love with him when I met him. She didn't try to contact me til about 2 months after we started dating. She said I called her at work when I didn't, she has changed her myspace account claiming to be someone else and saying he has a ton of kids and he is still sleeping with her and also with other women. I can't figure out how he has the time. I know she is seeing a psychiatrist and is on meds for being bi polar. I really wish she would leave us alone. We are talking about buying a house together and I am afraid of running into her in a store and her attacking me or my child. I will be arrested if she attacks my child. I am not a fighter of any means. I have known people like her but I haven't had to deal with people like her. I want things to work out with my boyfriend and I. He means everything to me and I know he feels the same about me. He is the first guy I have been with that I haven't gotten annoyed with and I enjoy being with him in every way. I want this to work and we always talk about what is on our mind. We were very honest and straight forward about things from the beginning. This all started when he went for full custody of his son.
8:22 AM
Wow. So glad to hear I'm not the only one. My fiance's ex-wife is a total psycho. I hate her and hate being around her. She is nasty, nosey, self-centered, entitled and dismissive of anyone else's feelings but her own. She throws tantrums, buts into our relationship, gives unwarranted advice and opinions and then brags to everyone about how well she's handled "all of this". Hello - if you weren't such a psychopath, your husband wouldn't have left you. Chew on that!
11:17 AM
Jane doe ,, i too have a similar story,,, my boyfriends ex asked my ex to kill us and also told a few people if she had a gun she'd kill us,,, She is mentally disturbing to the kids and talks to them very ill manner , tells them that their dad likes blow jobs thats why he wanted out of the family... the kids are 7 9 and 13~ What sane person would tell their kids this kind of crap... She has investigated my life out that she knows who is who in my family almost more than I do,,, she is very much fixated on me. I dont understand all this as she doesnt want to be married to her ex ( which is my boyfriend ) then why cant she just leave us alone... once he found happiness she reared her ugly evil head and started causing havoc everyway she can, which mostly involves the children.. I dont get it.. I think she needs mental help myself..
1:47 PM
I have been dating my boyfriend now for one year. he as custody of his 3 kids because she walked out on him and doesnt take any responsibility for her kids. She is a manipulitive bitch and he doesnt see it. The only time we have problems is because of things she does. I am glad to read that there are alot of crazy exs out there!
5:53 PM
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